Ramble On: Autumn 2024 Edition

Ramble On

Autumn 2024 Edition

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I’m a mother fucking force of nature, so let’s begin the lightening round that is this post:

Link to full playlist: Ramble On Autumn 2024

1. Wag the dog.

2. Perfection is not always synonymous with flawless.

3. Demons are comfortable with everything.

4. “Talk to me like I’m not listening...”

5. Thigh kisses > forehead kisses

6. “Eldorado”

Gaily bedight,

A gallant knight,

In sunshine and in shadow,

Had journeyed long,

Singing a song,

In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old—

This knight so bold—

And o’er his heart a shadow—

Fell as he found

No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength

Failed him at length,

He met a pilgrim shadow—

‘Shadow,’ said he,

‘Where can it be—

This land of Eldorado?’

‘Over the Mountains

Of the Moon,

Down the Valley of the Shadow,

Ride, boldly ride,’

The shade replied,—

‘If you seek for Eldorado!’

— Edgar Allan Poe

7. “Hell is other people” — Jean-Paul Sartre

8. Ground Control to Major Tom: What the hell happened to men who don’t wear T-shirts all the time?

9. “Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship.” — Herman Melville, Moby Dick

10. Remember dear, you are a top-of-the-food-chain-predator. Not livestock. Act like it. Do not give them the option to tell you otherwise. #fuckcowprint #fuckbarndoors

11. It is more than okay to have churros and molten chocolate for breakfast.

12. "...Somebody who can make Sauce Béarnaise as well as love," he said.

"Holy mackerel! Just any old dumb hag who can cook and lie on her back?"

"Oh no. She's got to have all the usual things that all women have." Bond examined her...

— Ian Fleming, Diamonds are Forever

13. I never want to see another adult throw out a statistic along the lines of “...kids spend 85% of their time in front of screens, even in school now...” and then complain about it as if the kid had a say in the matter. Did anyone ask them if they wanted these changes? Who’s buying them all of these screens? I don’t think they can afford them on their own. If you want to be mad at somebody, be mad at YOUR FELLOW ADULTS FOR LETTING A STATISTIC LIKE THAT EVEN EXIST TO BEGIN WITH.

[The video below isn't music and isn't included in the master playlist for this post -- watch it!!]

14. I should have listened to my sister about you.

15. LA law enforcement has arrested 200 individuals for internet sex crimes against children, not that that’s nearly a lot or enough (and frankly, I have the names of a few confirmed assholes that they’ve missed), but I do think it’s high-fucking-time we brought back public executions. Tesla-branded, electric guillotine, anyone?

16. What happened to the separation of church and state? You won’t believe where they are now — story ahead at 6.

17. Can you dance while weeping? Keep time while kneeling? Spin in circles while screaming? Stomp your feet to the beat while heaving? Pray. Prey. Pray.

18. Tell me not to “double down” and I will produce in triplicate to the third power, mother fucker.

19. Consider: so much of psychology was written by and started by white males.

20. Trust your gut, it knows more than your head.

21. “...and you can have it all,

My empire of dirt.

I will let you down,

I will make you hurt”

— Hurt, Johnny Cash/Nine Inch Nails

22. If things change behavior under observation, then quite literally nothing is ever as it seems — and not only that, but they can’t ever be as it seems.

23. Guess who’s done being Pavlov’s bitch?

24. “Once more into the fray. Into the last good fight I'll ever know. Live and die on this day. Live and die on this day." — Ottway (Liam Neeson), The Grey

25. “Well…you certainly are driven.”

"Yes. Spite alone seems to propel me these days."

26. So here’s the thing — I don’t care and I didn’t ask.

27. Welcome to purgatory. May I take your order?

28. So many horror movies are actually love stories.

29. Bitchin’

30. If you want to get something done, get good and angry first.

31. Treason in the Pancake Kingdom is defined as removing a Pancake from a human lap, so the human can get up to make waffles.

32. Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating a Christmas pie;

He put in his thumb,

And pulled out a plum,

And said, "What a good boy am I!"

33. [sic] [sic]

34. Atone. Atone. Atone.

35. Someone come and spar with me, please. It’s been too long since I’ve had a decent partner.

36. But god damn, am I struggling with the notion of “don’t say anything, don’t get involved, don’t do…” because it might interfere with karma…

37. See the thing is, whether you know it or not, and while I may yell and curse, I will NEVER put anyone through what I willingly put myself through.

38. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

39. Racehorses wear blinders for a reason.

40. #cryingonocean

41. With 10,000 middle fingers, I salute you, sir.

42. You don’t need LSD when you have PTSD.

43. And fuck me, do I I have questions.

44. “The way Dinah washed her children's faces was this: first she held the poor thing down by its ear with one paw, and then with the other paw she rubbed its face all over, the wrong way, beginning at the nose: and just now, as I said, she was hard at work on the white kitten, which was lying quite still and trying to purr -- no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good." — Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

45. “Manipulative” (adj.) : capable of adaptability and change, but perceived with a negative connotation.

46. Fighting isn’t linear.

47. Some of the most dangerous things in nature are small and colorful.

48. "Though this be madness, yet there is method in't." — Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2, lines 203-206

49. It’s important to talk WITH people, not AT them.

50. Season 1, Episode 9 of After the Rain

51. Step 1: Remove brain from rock tumbler.

52. “The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown:

The lion beat the unicorn all around the town. Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown:

Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of town” — Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

53. Just let me lick my wounds in peace.

54. Time is the only real currency.

55. Your midlife crisis is showing, my friend. Come get a little saltwater and sunshine, you’re overdue. I’ll even make you dinner.

56. I wonder if “third eyes” also require contact lenses from time to time. I’d imagine that intuition needs occasional assistance or correction just as much as any other thing.

57. Question everything. Rip it apart and shred it to pieces until you understand it if you have to.

58. #secretweapon

59. Dear lord, send those with fire in their eyes and hunger in their hearts

60. po tay toes

61. Pink Panther anything — movies, tv show, crime ring. I’m here for it all.

62. Enigma

63. heal. HEEL. heal.

64. I love when grown men get excited about rainbow season. You’re all adorable. 10/10 wholesome.

65. What the fuck. This isn’t a high school political science project, it’s the fucking New York Times — you shouldn’t even be writing articles in this format. Where is your editor. Why are you adding yet another unnecessary argument into the ring. Also, that’s not what nihilistic means? Stop insulting your readers with this shit.

66. I can FEEL your anxiety in the way you shot that video on your phone — take a breath, do it right.

67. Book recommendations would be highly appreciated.

68. Tank Girl and John 117/Master Chief should have a baby. Come on Hollywood. Where are these mashups. These are the movies I’d pay to see.

69. If you’re not supposed to go into business with friends, it’s no wonder over 50% of marriages fail.

70. Ali Wong did the thing.

71. “Your photos are cool.”

“lol. Thanks, I have an astigmatism.”

72. Having conversations that make me want to:

A) Soak my own brain in ethanol and light it on fire

B) Rip out my own uterus and fry it up for Sunday dinner

73. “All these rappers on stage and Martha [Stewart] is the one that’s done the most jail time…”

74. “Porco, why did you turn into a pig?”